The Battle That is Life

it's pulling me under again
this loneliness
this pain
inside my head
inside my heart
the need
but the need for what?
love? friendship? pain? suffering?
everyday is a battle
a battle to live another day
when all I wish
is for death to envelope me
in her sweet embrace
horrid, horrid thoughts
but I cant help
but feel that no one cares
or loves me
I hate myself for feeling this way
I hate these tears
for falling down my face
I sit listening to depressing music
thinking is this my life?
this lonely, yawning pit of dispair?
this battle to keep on living?
am I doomed to never
have what I want?
to never feel what I want?
to never have my dreams fulfilled?
to always feel as though
I am no one or nothing
is this it?
you tell me!